A Sad Day In March

March was supposed to be a good start to a great Spring, but instead I lost the biggest part of my soul on March 1st. I woke up that morning invigorated, ready to start my day, head to work and laugh and smile with all I met. My goal for the day crumbled when my best friend, a four legged ball of love, who after 17 years and 9 months, just couldn't fight on anymore.


Chance was what I had named him, after adopting him from shelter in Hopkington, NH. He had been a skittish boy when we first met, unsure of me, of my family, of his surroundings, but it was within this meeting that I could feel the greatest connection I would ever have with anyone or anything. That day we took him home, not before making a quick pit stop at a Kohl's as Chance had gotten ill from his nervousness of being in a car for the first time since he'd been found in a cardboard box.

 There wasn't a moment where I didn't have him by my side. We spent times at the baseball field down the road from my childhood home, went for walks for many miles, we were together for every holiday and he always was there to hep me with my homework (whether he distracted me from it or not). He had become the best friend I never thought I would have. I had saved up my Birthday and Christmas money before my parents agreed that it was time for me to learn about pet responsibility.

Prior to Chance, I had adopted fish, hamsters, guinea pigs and gerbils; I watched my uncle's cats when he was gone, watched the new born kittens my neighbors cat had when they were gone, and worked on a farm where I took care of the rabbits, goats, chickens, and horses. And though I had amazing relationships with every one of those animals, Chance and I connected far deeper than any of the others. He was 7 weeks when I brought him home'not first before making a side trip to a clothing store to buy new pants when he anxiously fell ill all over me in the car. Till this day I and my family laugh about it. The state I found myself in with my hands raised in the air, while my mom drove as quickly as speed allowed her to.

Chance had been found in a box on the side of the road, alone, cold and shivering, he struggled to trust and hated car rides for the first several months after adopting him. But he had a big sister that was able to teach him that it was okay to trust us, to enjoy care rides and walks down old train tracks. Of course, to also bark at everything he heard, whether it was a knock on the door, or a rustle of leaves from wind. And although we weren't a fan of the constant barking, we loved him dearly.

Days together, turned into weeks, months, years together; 8 houses moved in and out of, friends lost together, new friends made together; many illnesses and sickness and sprained injuries together. You loved us unconditionally, without a single ounce of hesitation, we would come home only to hear your bark and find you wagging your tail, so much so that sometimes you threw yourself off balance. We spent days in the sun, moments in the snow, and ran around in the warm rain. You became the best friend I could never live without and for 17 years I never lived unless you were there. 

Sadly, those 17 years came to an end, though it seemed like time slowed down long enough for us to stay together. But finally you couldn't stand it anymore. Your body was changing, your arthritis acted up more and more each day. You rarely had the strength to wag your tail or keep or head up and always looked sad. There were times we managed to catch a smile, especially when we came home from work and found you greeting us at the door. Days got tough for you, you know longer had feelings in your back legs, constantly you would "bambii" out and collapse to the floor. 

Luckily you had the strength to stand back up, but three months before your 18 Birthday, you couldn't go any further. You fell down the stairs that morning and panicked when you couldn't stand back up and when I helped you back up, you fell two more times that morning. I was supposed to go to work that day, find you waiting for me when I came home, and go to bed that evening to wake up with you at least another day. But you told me then that was it. We took you that afternoon to get an ice cream and a burger the way you always liked it, the sun was out that day and it was warm, so we sat in a parking lot together, eating the least meal we would have together. 

The vet always called you a "miracle dog", you were her oldest dog to date. She always believed in you when you got sick or needed time to heal from an injury. The staff members at her office loved seeing you and gave you plenty of loving when they saw you. But that day was not easy for any of us. I wasn't alone that day, memere came with me to see you off. Dr. Diane came in personally to stay and say goodbye with us. She told us we would have a minute before you would finally succumb to your old age, but you only lasted a few more seconds. I never thought I would ever struggle in life the way I did in that moment. You were my best friend, my everything, and in a matter of moments, you and everything you came with, was gone. 

This blog isn't suppose to sound sappy and sad, though I may have made it out to be. But it's supposed to be a memorable post, one I can look back on and read countless times over and instantly remember the times we spent together, the photos we took together. It's meant to let other's know, that though it isn't easy; it will never be easy, there are people out there all over the world who go through a loss such as this and can understand the way you feel. 

I will always remember your smiles, or hard tail when you whipped us with it in happiness and your loud piercing, excitable barking. You will remain within my heart, always and forever. And I know now, you are no longer in pain, and you are running around happily chasing squirrels and chewing on bones with all your friends and your bigger sister. And I know too, that you are looking down at us from the other side of the Rainbow Bridge. Your little sister is still here watching us too, so you don't have to worry too much and have fun now. Were were my greatest, and most dearest best friend and I will continue to love you.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are gray. You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away."

Chance Normand Valley

May 17th 2007-March 1st, 2019